Human Resource Jokes

After 2 years of   SELFLESS SERVICES   A MAN REALIZED THAT HE HAS NOT BEEN   PROMOTED,   NO SALARY INCREASE ,   AND THE COMPANY IS NOT   DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT.     SO   ONE MORNING  HE DECIDED TO WALK UP TO HIS HR MANAGER .   After exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his problem. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; My friend, you have not worked here for even ONE DAY. The man was surprised to hear this, but the Manager went on to explain. Manager : How many days are there in a year? Man : 365 days and some times 366   Manager : How many hours make up a day? Man : 24 hours   Manager : How long do you work in a day? Man : 8 am to 4 pm i.e. 8 hours a day.   Manager : So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours ? Man : (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3 (one third)   Manager : That is nice of you ! What is one-third of 366 days? Man : 122 (1/3x366 = 122 days)   Manager : Do you come to work on weekends? Man : No Sir   Manager : How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Man : 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days   Manager : Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have? Man : 18 days. Manager : OK ! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining? Man : 4 days   Manager : Do you work on New Year day? Man : No Sir   Manager : Do you come to work on workers day? Man : No Sir   Manager : So how many days are left? Man : 2 days Sir   Manager : Do you come to work on the (National holiday )? Man : No Sir   Manager : So how many days are left? Man : 1 day Sir   Manager : Do you work on Christmas day? Man - No Sir   Manager : So how many days are left? Man : None Sir Manager : So, what are you claiming? Man : I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing Company money all these days.   MORAL : NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP   HR = HIGH RISK